Kalamazoo Bicycle Club

 

August 2012 President’s Letter

July: Can a Month Get Any Busier?

If you are in any way interested in bicycling, the month of July presented plenty of opportunities to indulge yourself in the sport.

KalTour

On Sunday, July 8th, the Kalamazoo Bicycle Club hosted its largest yearly event, KalTour. Director Mike Krischer reports that approximately 289 riders rode the one-day tour through the more scenic parts of our region.

Mike went out on a limb this year and changed a few of the longer routes. In return, he received many kudos on how well laid out and planned those routes were. And the sandwiches at the SAG stops, made by Great Harvest Bread Company, were as big a hit as the cookies from Victorian Bakery.

KalTour is not only KBC’s biggest event; it also is the one thing we do that is most visible to the public. How KalTour goes is reflective of the entire club. And year in and year out, with Mike at the helm, it somehow gets pulled off with nary a hitch.

At the last KBC monthly meeting, Mike was asked how long he had been KalTour director. To many of us it seems as though he has always been there – and has always done a stellar job. And make no mistake, it is a job. Or maybe even a job and a half. . .

We all owe a debt of gratitude to Mike for taking on, organizing and administering KalTour. When you see him next, tell him so. Well done Mike and every volunteer who made the event a success!

And speaking of volunteers, Mike could use a hand in planning next year’s KalTour. Consider joining the organizing committee and helping to put together this important piece of our bicycling season.

Thanks too, go to the local AMBUCS organization, Alive After Five, for staffing the Briar Patch SAG stop at KalTour again this year. KBC is proud to be affiliated with AAF and their mission to give adaptive bikes and trikes to youngsters with special needs.

Miller Energy/BTR Bike Race

The weekend following KalTour, July 14th and 15th, the cycling community was treated to “Race Weekend.” On that Saturday, the Miller Energy Criterium took place at WMU’s BTR business park at the corner of Parkview and Drake Roads. The following day, the Maple Hill Race for Wishes was held in Lawton.

As part of the Miller Energy race planning committee, I can attest to the many meetings it takes to put on the event. Though I somehow managed to avoid doing any actual, physical work, it still seemed a long and arduous and long process; kind of like organizing a mountaineering expedition that is designed to get a small band of climbers to the top of a summit peak.

The summit, in this case, was the actual race, which went off in as flawless a fashion as a bike race could ever do. We don’t have a count on the number of participants yet, but it seemed as though there were at least as many racers there as there has been in years past.

It is worth noting that KBC was represented well not only throughout the volunteer corps, but on the podium as well. Race results are available on the KBC website, under the Miller Energy BTR race tab and clicking on www.btrcrit.com.

Bike Expo

July 21st was the date of the inaugural Bike Expo, held at the Expo Center on Lake Street. KBC had a booth at the event, where volunteers Paul Selden, Jon Ballema and Renee Mitchell passed out literature about the club and talked about programs like Bike Camp, our weekday rides, and the CMS Race Team.

It was good to meet and greet a public that seemed interested in learning more about KBC and its many activities. We also had the chance to talk with many of the other vendors and exhibitors at Bike Expo and to exchange information with like-minded individuals.

KBC member and Race Across America participant Chris Gottwald was a featured speaker, and he related to a packed audience his experiences on RAAM, and also what the sport of cycling has meant to him on a personal level.

For some of us, one of the highlights of the Bike Expo was the show put on by the Rise Above BMX Stunt Team. It would be an understatement to say that the three young Rise Above riders have, well, a different sort of relationship with their bikes than do most KBC members. Instead of viewing their cycles as a way to recreate, commute to work or commune with nature, the Rise Above squad seemed to utilize their squat, heavy-duty machines as launch vehicles.

Racing at top speed toward their aluminum and plastic ramps and then rocketing upward toward the ceiling, the Rise Above cyclists performed fantastical gyrations in midair. Their stunts – flipping upside down in broken-neck-defying loop-de-loops or rapidly swiveling the handlebars and front wheel around while the bike was simultaneously flipped onto its side – if performed by a mere mortal, would likely result in, at least, a pulled groin.

But the best part of the Rise Above show was seeing the bleachers filled with horror-stricken parents and their 10-12 year old sons – the latter who, very obviously, COULD NOT WAIT to get home to start working on their own curb-jumping, stairway-rail-scraping moves.

Let’s slow down the club activity level in August and just ride!

Zolton Cohen, KBC President

 

Next KBC Monthly Meeting on August 14th, 2012

The next KBC Monthly Meeting will take place at 7:00 P.M. on Tuesday, August 14th, 2012 at the Kalamazoo YMCA on Maple Street. All KBC members are welcome to attend.

 

Ride Captain, Public Relations Chair Needed

Ride Captain – Having moved out of town, Bill Figeley has had to step down from his post as KBC Ride Captain. We thank Bill for his work with the club in that capacity, and the energy and enthusiasm he brought to the position.

This Board of Directors vacancy brings up a great opportunity for someone willing to step into an important appointment with the Kalamazoo Bicycle Club. The Ride Captain coordinates club rides across all spectrums of the membership, and can invent, plan, and implement special rides outside of the regular riding schedule.

As the club grows larger and attendance at the weekly rides increases, the Ride Captain should also expect to recruit and train ride leaders.

Public Relations Chair – For the past year or so, Director of Road Safety Paul Selden and I have had to take on the role of de facto public relations coordinators. I don’t think I’m insulting either one of us by saying that neither of us is very good at it; we’ve been limping along, making things up as we muddle along.

And that highlights the club’s need for a PR chair. We need someone who knows what he or she is doing and can develop and carry out public relations work on behalf of the organization.

These are great opportunities to get more involved with the Kalamazoo Bicycle Club; we need your input, expertise, and help. Anyone interested in the Ride Captain or PR Chair positions can contact me at: president@kalamazoobicycleclub.org. Or come to the next monthly club meeting on Tuesday, August 14, 2012.

Zolton Cohen, KBC President

 

KalTour 2012 – Final Word

The 21st annual Kalamazoo Bicycle Club summer tour took place on Sunday July 8th. Considering that the days leading up to the ride had been some of the hottest in the history of Kalamazoo with temperatures well over 100 degrees, the high of 87 degrees on the day of KalTour must have been considered extremely fortunate for the almost 300 riders who rode anywhere from 13 to 100 miles.

For the second year, the ride headquarters was the Bronson Athletic Club. The routes were slightly different this year, as riders went south on 8th Street at the start of the ride, with 62 mile and century riders heading to Lawton in the morning. Century riders continued on to Timber Ridge and the 6th Street hill in the afternoon. New this year were sandwiches from Great Harvest Bakery which went over very well.

It is of course impossible to put on a ride of this size without the help of others.

Dave Bishop arrived before 6:00 A.M. with the day’s supply of ice and fruit Tom Keizer and Terry O’Connor also came in at 6:00 to handle setup and get ready for checking in riders. Paul Bruneau managed the Lawton park SAG stop which included coping with locked bathrooms at the start of his shift. Mark Jensen and the rest of his bakery crew prepared the sandwiches; Donna Whitcomb and the Alive After Five chapter of AMBUCS served lunch at the Briar Patch. John and Barb Hart worked the Timber Ridge Sag Stop supported by Charley Coss of the ski patrol. Kathy and Doug Kirk handled watermelon slicing after the ride and greeted returning riders along with Kyle Lewis of the Kalamazoo County Park system.

Paul Selden and Jim Wyrick led one of the largest family rides we have ever seen.

John Mathieson and the members of the Kalamazoo Radio Club coordinated SAG services assisted by Mike Boersma. Additional safety support at the start of the ride was provided by KVCC security officers.

We were well supported by local bike shop mechanics with Breakaway Bicycles at ride headquarters and Pedal Bicycles at the lunch stop.

Other KBC members who contributed their time included John Idema, John Olbrot, Mary Gerger, and Rick Whaley at road painting, and David Jones for cleanup after the ride.

While KalTour 2012 is history, it’s time to look ahead to 2013. We need to build on the successes of this year and improve our shortcomings. An important element of moving forward is finding a few people to serve on the KalTour committee. Specific areas where help is needed include publicity, purchasing, and long-range planning. If you are interested, please e-mail Zolton or me.

Mike Krischer, KalTour Director

 

CMS Racing Report

CMS Racing Report - 12-Hour Race

by Val Liznerski

On July 14th, I competed in Big Jay's Fat Ass 12-Hour Race in Mahomet, Illinois. This free event race started at 6:00 A.M., with sign-in on a large piece of poster board and a hand-written release form. The race is essentially self-supported, so I needed to take quite a few supplies and lots of food to get through the day. Not to break with tradition, I had a tire problem while setting up and had to switch wheels. Jay and I started in the pole position as we held the course records. He led out and picked up the pace to 29 mph, quickly splitting up the group. I took over with a few strong pulls in the first 25 mile loop, but fell off much earlier than I had wanted. Thankfully, I was able to find some people to work with for the next 75 miles and completed a century in 5:04, which was a personal best. Unfortunately, the people I was working with dropped out after 100 miles.

I set out for my 5th lap by myself. Miles 100 to 150 are always the hardest and slowest for me, especially when I am riding alone. I got lucky, though, and completed my 5th lap as the lead male was completing his 6th lap. Larry and I rode together for 50 miles and helped each other increase our leads on our nearest competitors. No one else could keep up with Larry at that point, so I was happy just to be able to ride with him. Halfway through the 6th lap, it started to rain, which was the first rain that I had felt riding for months. It kept raining for over an hour, but thankfully there was no thunder or lightning. I was drenched by the time it was over and relieved that I brought a change of clothes.

After 50 miles of Larry's pace, I had to drop back to a different group of riders. My stomach felt awful and my feet were swollen. I took a 10 minute break to change and manage the shoe issue. My boyfriend, who had been dutifully filling my water bottles and handing me snacks and cans of coke, helped me locate a different sports drink. After over 10 hours on the bike, my ability to troubleshoot simple problems and perform arithmetic starts to decline. Luckily I wasn't alone for long and rode my last 40 miles with the leader for the 6-hour race.

In the end, I was able to complete 215 miles in 12 hours (with a moving average of 19 mph once all of my stops were accounted for.) I was happy with my personal best and new course record. Larry’s 244 miles were very impressive, especially considering the amount of time he spent alone. For anyone interested in ultra racing, Jay’s is a great event. The riders are always nice and supportive and the cookout afterwards is a great way to get to know your competitors before you face off again in the next event.

(Editor’s Note: Val won the women’s race.)

 

Ride to South Haven Report

An amazing sight greeted the Ride Leader, once he discovered that everyone had parked at a new, even more southwestern corner of the KVCC parking lot for this year’s Ride to South Haven on July 28th. Bicycles, and bicycles, and bicycles! There were 26 riders, a dramatic increase in the number of riders from previous years. While the RL would like to think that this was due to his charisma, it was probably due to the fact that, for once in July; the temperature wasn’t expected to rise above the mid-80s. So, we rolled out of the parking lot shortly after 8:00 A.M. in search of gentle lake breezes and tasty subs.

While the number of riders was indeed impressive, there were some equally impressive, as well as some not-as-impressive numbers, associated with this year’s ride. So, here’s a summary of this year’s Ride to South Haven, by the numbers.

17.5: The average mph from KVCC to Lawrence.

19: The number of riders continuing their journey from Lawrence into the known.

1: The number of water bottles lost between Lawrence and South Haven. The RL mourns his loss, but eventually he’ll get over it.

687: The missing route road sign number at the intersection with Route 376. Mike Mihelich, who was leading the group in a pack of one, missed the turn, but he eventually made it to South Haven, albeit with a few extra miles on his tires.

1: The number of flat tires during the ride. John Olbrot flatted about 4 miles from the South Haven Subs N More.

3: The 3 on 3 Gus Macker Basketball Tournament that made it a challenge riding from the beach to Subs N More.

18: The number of riders eating subs.

2: The number of riders eating ice cream. Kathleen Kroll and Colin treated themselves at the Dairy Queen near the Subs N More.

18: The number of riders returning to Kalamazoo from South Haven.

90: The highest temperature recorded on the RL’s cyclometer during the return to Kalamazoo. However, this cyclometer temperature usually reads high and most of the time, the temperature was in the low 80s.

3: The number of counties where we pedaled. In addition to Kalamazoo and Van Buren County, we rode in Berrien County for a few miles.

2: The number of times we stopped at the Citgo in Lawrence.

2: The number of riders thinking about stopping a brewery in Paw Paw.

0: The number of riders actually stopping at a brewery in Paw Paw. The RL pointed out to Mike Vanderveer and John Idema that if they did stop, they would probably miss out on the Gatorade and pretzels at the end of the ride, so they came to their senses.

102.1: The number of miles ridden during the ride. Several overachievers rode to KVCC from their homes to tack on a few extra miles.

16.4: The final mph average by the RL.

150: The number of miles ridden by 2 riders. Ryan, who came down to Kalamazoo for the ride from Grand Rapids, met another rider to ride for another 50 miles. He also talked Flint Wiles into joining him.

1: The number of crashes. Reggie Colby slipped his chain about 4 miles from the end of the ride and suffered some road rash and helmet and jersey damage.

2: The number of Good Samaritans. Daryl Hutson rode back to KVCC, drove back to get Reggie, and transported Reggie and his bike back to KVCC. He then took Reggie’s bike back to his house. Kathleen drove Reggie to the hospital for X-rays and patch up work and then took him home. Fortunately, he did not suffer a concussion.

17: The number of Gatorades consumed after the ride.

Many: The number of sourdough pretzel nuggets consumed after the ride.

∞: The number of pictures taken during the ride. Terry Butcher did the ride. Enough said.

At least 1: The number of steaks consumed after the ride. The RL grilled a steak later that evening, to replenish critical nutrients and for high quality protein, but mostly because he knew that it would taste good.

<365: The number of days until next year’s Ride to South Haven. Let the countdown begin.

Rick Whaley, Ride to South Haven Ride Leader

 

Kudos

Thanks to Breakaway Bicycles & Fitness of Portage for supporting the Miller Energy Criterium at WMU's BTR Park and Team Taylor / CMS Racing Team Maple Hill Auto Group's Race for Wishes events during the weekend of July 14th and 15th. Owner Paul Wells donated the van, inner tubes, and the services of Jason Lechner to help set up the BTR and provide mechanical support for the Make-A-Wish event, and the services of Dan Herzberg at the BTR. It was reported that at least one racer developed a flat just minutes before his starting time at the BTR and Dan got him on his way. Given KBC's involvement in local bicycling, we appreciate everything that local bicycle shops like Breakaway do for the bicycling community, especially considering that their support is completely discretionary.

Submitted by Paul Selden

(Editor’s Note: You don’t have to be Paul Selden to submit a Kudos to the Pedal Press. If there is any member of the bicycling community that you think is worthy of recognition, feel free to submit a Kudos of your own.)

 

Monthly Meeting Minutes

The July 10, 2012 meeting of the KBC was called to order by President Zolton Cohen, at 7:00 P.M. Those in attendance were: Doug Kirk, Zolton Cohen, Jon Ballema, Jeff Newman, Michael Krischer, Marc Irwin, Tom Keizer, Mike Boersma, Bob Strader, Victor Van Fleet, David Jones, Renee Mitchell, Brian Garfoot, Terry O'Connor, Rick Whaley, Joe Bernath, Chris LeBlanc, Mike Mock, Mary Warren, and Mary Gerger.

President Zolton Cohen gave the Treasurer's Report tonight for John Olbrot, who was not in attendance:

Income $1,767.78
Expenses3,307.75
Checking Account5,611.15
Certificate of Deposit11,115.22

Zolton reported there was a lot of account activity this month, with many KalTour Registrations coming in, and several large expenditures related to the Miller Energy BTR Criterium and the Kaltour going out. Related to this, Mike Boersma asked about submitting receipts for the KalTour and was directed to submit them to Treasurer John Olbrot for reimbursement. Others requesting reimbursement are asked to submit their receipts to John.

Under Committee Reports, Director of Road Safety Paul Selden reported per Ray Wario, that a lot of heavily traveled commuter routes on Portage Road are now patched. He also reported he will be attending an MDOT Training Wheels Program, hosted by the Kalamazoo Area Transportation Study. This training focuses on the planning and design of on-road bicycle facilities.

Terry O'Connor gave an Insurance Report related to the KalTour. A brief discussion was held related to this report.

Education Chairperson Renee Mitchell thanked Terry O'Connor for his help with the Maple Street Bike Safety Program.

Chris LeBlanc gave a brief update on the Maple Street Summer Biking Program. They are working through a $200 budget shortfall. At this time, there are three more weeks of the program and they are all hoping for some cooler temperatures to finish up the session!

KalTour Chairperson Mike Krischer reported on last weekend's KalTour. He stated there was a large number of riders in the Family Ride, and that he will be submitting an article to the August Pedal Press.

Zolton asked Mike to determine the cost per rider by adding up the cost of insurance, food, publicity and other items, and then dividing by the number of riders, taking into consideration the discounted bike campers. This issue will be revisited at a future meeting.

Zolton read an e-mail sent to Paul Bruneau with "Kudos" to the KBC for the Kaltour, sponsors, food, etc. When asked, Mike indicated there will be a KalTour next year, and that he is interested in organizing it. Zolton suggested possibly training assistants to help with various aspects of the KalTour planning and execution, and volunteers for a KalTour Committee. This will be addressed in the next issue of the Pedal Press.

Further KalTour discussions included Jeff Newman bringing forward a participant's comment to have SAG vehicles better identified in the future. Zolton also reminded everyone that last year, a resolution was passed giving half of the KalTour proceeds (a minimum of $350) to Alive After Five. All members present voted to give a minimum $350 to this organization this year, with the actual amount to be determined by the final KalTour numbers. On behalf of the KBC, Zolton expressed our thanks and congratulations to Mike for another very successful KalTour.

A discussion was held regarding the Kalamazoo Bike Week Coordinator position. The KBC hopes to participate on a larger scale next year, and it was noted it would be beneficial to have a KBC member as part of the lead team. Paul Selden (Bike Week Coordinator Search Committee Member) suggested Jeff Newman and Chad Goodwill as KBC representatives to the Bike Week Committee. Zolton agreed with these nominations and suggested they move forward with this. He stated the Bike Week Committee can count on volunteers from the KBC to help where needed. Jeff Newman said he will report back as things begin to move forward with the 2013 Bike Week.

Zolton updated the ongoing discussion regarding designing and ordering new KBC jerseys. He indicated there had been only one respondent interested in purchasing a new jersey, and with a minimum order of 25 required, he is opposed to pursuing this at the present time.

Jon Ballema reported on the upcoming Miller Energy Criterium. He indicated the need for several more day-of-race volunteers. Jon also commented on the very large electronic sign along US131, giving great visibility to the race. He stated there were 55 to 60 preregistered riders, but he expected the vast majority of participants to register on Thursday. They were also expecting lots of additional day-of-race registrations. Jon also mentioned the Priority Health Race Clinic.

Jon also gave an update from Bill Braun concerning the Maple Hill Race for Wishes to be held on the Sunday following the Miller Energy Criterium. He indicated they were still in need of some volunteers, especially for "Wheel Cars," which was pointed out to be a great way to watch the race!

Under New Business, Paul Selden mentioned the Bike Expo to be held on Saturday July 21, 2012. Zolton pointed out this was a new event, and that in the future, it may be run to coincide with Bike Week. The KBC will have a table at the Bike Expo. In response to Renee Mitchell's question about the purpose of this table, it was explained we would have a photo board and KBC brochures. Renee suggested an e-mail sign-up sheet for the KalTour and KBC Bike Camp also be included. Paul indicated that Chris Gottwald will be speaking. Steve Johnson, the owner of Johnson Cycle works will also speak, and there will be a BMX Stunt Team and a nutritionist at the Expo. Paul commented on how great it is the whole community is stepping up their interest in biking.

Zolton adjourned the meeting at 8:10 P.M.

Respectfully Submitted,

Mary Gerger, KBC Secretary

 

Masthead

The electronically-distributed KBC Pedal Press comes out on or around the first of each month.

If you have an article or a notice that you want to go into the PedalPress, please email it to the newsletter editor, editor@kalamazoobicycleclub.org by the 20th of the month before its intended publication.

For example, if you’d like an article to be published in the September edition (distributed during the first week of September), have it to the newsletter editor by the 20th of August.

 

Statistics

Active subscriptions: 271

New members:
Deborah Bauer · Benjamin Carter · Popi Chatzidimitriou/VanDyk · Emily (Sheppy) Douma · Dave Dunlap · Ian Heinicke · John Kittredge · Lani Kittredge · Cathy Krieg · Natalie Krieg · Renee Krieg · Rob Krieg · Lee Anne Latchaw · Cathie Magill · Nicole Pavlack · Kathy Rubino · Andra Stackhouse · Jeffrey Stackhouse · Lisa Stackhouse · Mark Stackhouse · Alex VanDyk · Bob VanDyk · Cathi VanDyk · Carrie Williams · Jeffrey Williams

June Expiring memberships:
Robert Allwardt · Chauncey Brinn · Joseph & Julie Dill · Candice Elders · Mike Hughes · David Merwin · Richard Sachwitz

Renewed memberships:
Richard Gershon Family · Dan Kallewaard · Susan Bond · David Warwick · Scott Powers · Richard Wolthuis · Tom George Family · Jim Mishler · John Wunderlin · Brian Vanderberg · Katie Jacobs · Rebecca Sinkoff · Madhavan Murugesan · Ingrid Davis · Jerry Neubauer

Paul Bruneau, KBC Database Manager

 

Editor's Letter – My Tour de France After

Maybe I’ve become too blasé about the Tour de France, but it didn’t seem to be very exciting this year. “Entertain me!” I shout at the TV screen, while lounging in semi-decadence from the comfort of my reclining chair and, to some extent, I was disappointed. Although, if I really was decadent, like the sort of folks who slow traffic down to 40 mph on the interstate just so they can gawk at any stray carnage by the side of the road, I suppose I could have been entertained just by the large number of bicycle crashes this year. But I wasn’t, so I had to find my entertainment elsewhere. And I did, thanks to a few of the commercials of the liquid product variety that were shown over and over and over again. You take your entertainment where you can find it.

My favorite was the one where a female triathlete finishes her workout, which appeared to be grueling enough to yield a few facial grimaces, but not quite grueling enough to mar her perfectly coiffed hair. Then we hear her narrate the following.

“After my heart stops beating out of my chest.”
“After I’ve felt the burn.”
“After I’ve gone to hell and back.”
“I ....”

And then what?! Out with it, woman! Do you see an exorcist? Perform emergency open heart surgery on yourself? Swear that you’ll never mix Jamaican hot pepper into your 5-alarm chili again? Oh, no. She does none of these things. Here is what she does.

“I refuel with chocolate milk.”

Really?! After an experience like that, it would be reasonable to assume that she would be refueling with a stiff drink. But, given that liquor wasn’t her option of choice – chocolate milk??? Why? Weren’t there any Gummi Bears in the cupboard? Ah, but then we do find out why.

“To replenish critical nutrients”
“And for high quality protein.”

Well, that explains that. I know that when I exercise, the first thing I start sweating out is the cocoa. And it’s good to know that chocolate milk contains high quality protein, not the sort of low quality protein you buy off the street from an unscrupulous protein dealer, the sort of protein that’s cut with some foreign substance like sugar. And then she sums it all up.

“That’s how I prepare for tomorrow.”
“That’s my after.”

Personally, if I knew that my tomorrow was going to be more of the same, I’d spend my preparation time investing in some flame retardant clothing and some nitroglycerine pills, instead of lollygagging around the house sipping on a kid’s drink. But, I also know that as a Tour de France TV spectator, for me it is the case that

“After my stomach starts flopping over my belt.”
“After I’ve felt the rear end numb.”
“After I’ve been to the kitchen and back.”
“I refuel with sourdough pretzel nibblers.”

So, who am I to judge?

Next, there’s the Michelob Ultra light beer commercial that begins with the voiceover “You’re a complicated, diverse creature …..” Creature? Who’s their target audience, anyway, space aliens from the planet Zorgron? The Clean Water Bottle Man? Let us attempt to solve this mystery. Continue, Mr. Voiceover Person.

“A fine mix of debonair”

Hmmm, this could be targeted towards Zorgronians, particularly when they use their three tentacles to tie their tuxedo ties just right, but the shape of the Clean Water Bottle Man is simple, yet elegant, in design and function. This could be a draw.

“And adrenalin.”

Score one for the Zorgronians. Blasting unsuspecting planets into oblivion does tend to raise the heart rate or hearts rates, as the case may be.

“Battle scars”

Again, obviously, targeting Zorgronians, although there have been occasions when I’ve dropped my water bottle while attempting to put it back in the water bottle cage.

“And good jokes.”

Okay. Why did the chicken cross the road?

Zorgronian: To escape the wrath of my feather plucking, grease and fire-spewing, Intergalactic Weapon of Deep Fat Frying Doom, bwah, ha, ha, ha, ha . . . .

Clean Water Bottle Man: To flee the appalling sight of a crud-infested standard water bottle, because even chickens have cleanliness standards.

So, I suppose we’d have to call this a draw, too. Still, it appears that the target audience for Michelob Ultra is the Zorgronians, particularly if the gravitational pull of their planet is 10 times the pull of Earth, where it really pays to be (relatively) light on your each of your 12 7-toed feet.

Finally, there’s the ubiquitous 5-Hour Energy commercials, where a laconic voiced sheriff, who sounds like he could use a little bit of the product himself, appears from nowhere and verbally bullies various hapless coffee drinkers into abandoning their used-to-be drink of choice for 5-Hour Energy. Or was it chocolate milk? Sometimes, I get confused

Every time I see these commercials, I think, “Wow, what’s exactly in this stuff?” It also makes me think that with a little bit of marketing savvy, the image problems associated with the use of methamphetamines, such as the rotting teeth, skin eruptions, and rampant paranoia, could be overcome just by calling the drug “30-Hour Energy.”

So, as you can see, there was entertainment galore during this year’s Tour de France, it’s just that it wasn’t always during the race itself. So, next year, there’s always that chance that after I record the day’s stage to watch at my leisure, I’ll end up fast-forwarding through the race to watch the commercials. While eating pretzel nibblers, of course, while my Zorgronian friend drinks Michelob Ultra. Because, that’s my after.

Rick Whaley, KBC Newsletter Editor

 

Some Upcoming Rides of Interest

Saturday, August 11. Kalamazoo Dream Ride. Kalamazoo, MI. 20, 40, 60 miles. www.kalamazoodreamride.com.

Saturday, August 18. Lakeshore Harvest Country Bicycle Tour. South Haven, MI. 25, 44, 55 miles. www.lakeshoreharvestcountry.com.

Saturday, August 18. One Day Ride Across Michigan (ODRAM). Montague, MI. 149 miles. www.odram.com.

Wednesday through Sunday, August 29 – September 2. 42nd Annual Dick Allen Lansing to Mackinaw (DALMAC) Bicycle Tour. Four rides over 4 or 5 days, ranging from 286 to 404 miles. Registration has begun and all rides fill up quickly. www.DALMAC.org

Saturday, September 8. Michigan Recumbent Rally – West. Kalamazoo, MI. paul.pancella@wmich.edu.

Sunday, September 9. The Vineyard Class. Paw Paw, MI. 20, 40, 60 miles. www.wineandharvestfestival.com.

 

Classified Ads

NEW: New Bontrager (Trek) Bicycle Helmet... white in color... small size. Has convenient back-of-head adjustment, durable, good ventilation, lightweight, nice fit system/pads. Sells for $65, asking $30. Call Dale at 375-0114 to request photo.

Looking for a chromo frame touring bicycle with a 54 to 56 cm frame that is panier compatible. Respond to roachbrown@yahoo.com.

Looking for a used women's bike in good condition, hybrid, for paved road/trail rides. Not sure of the size bike needed, but I'm petite, 5'3." Contact Donna at doandres@att.net or (269) 968-9674 (home) or (269) 830-1706 (cell).

 

Shop Notes

Alfred E Bike

320 East Michigan, Kalamazoo, (269) 349–9423
www.aebike.com

Billy's Bike Shop

63 East Battle Creek Street, Galesburg, (269) 665–5202
www.billysbikeshop.com

Breakaway Bicycles

185 Romence at Westnedge, Portage, (269) 324–5555,
www.breakawaybicycles.com

Custer Cyclery

104 North Augusta, Augusta, (269) 731–3492
www.custercyclery.com

Gazelle Sports

214 South Kalamazoo Mall, Kalamazoo, (269) 342–5996,
www.Gazellesports.com
Gazelle Sports still has some GREAT DEALS left from Sidewalk Sales. Check out the incredible savings as second markdowns hit!


Johnson Cycle Works

5309 Gull Road, Kalamazoo, (269) 226-0001.
www.JohnsonCycleWorks.com

Pedal

611 W Michigan Avenue, Kalamazo, (269) 56–PEDAL
info@pedalbicycle.com and www.pedalbicycle.com

Team Active

22 W Michigan, Battle Creek, 1–800–841–9494
www.teamactive.com

Village Cyclery

US 131 in Schoolcraft, 679–4242
www.villagecyclery.com

Zoo City Cycle & Sports

4328 South Westnedge, Kalamazoo (269) 552–3000
www.zoocitycycle.com

 

Bicycling Safety Disclaimer

Important: Riding a bicycle is an inherently dangerous activity. There are risks of injury or death. You could ride over something and fall, or get hit by an automobile or strike or be struck by another bicyclist. There are many other dangers to bicycling as well.

While nothing can eliminate all risks associating with bicycle riding, to minimize the danger, make sure you and your bicycle are in good riding condition. Know the rules of the road and also of the group you're riding with, and ride in a manner consistent with the protocols of that group. Always wear a bike helmet, use bike lights if riding in the dawn, dusk or dark, and consider purchasing and riding with additional safety equipment such as reflectors and rear view mirrors.